I'm nt in mood..

31th of July..
when i go bak to school..
I'm still keen to find where is she..
I'm still missing her vr much... I'm loving her..
bt.. I'm trying to avoid her at the same time.. bt i din did it..
dunno y.. the feeling.. is really weird..
haizzz.. mayb i'm trying to find an excuse for myself only..
It's nt worth to do so..
wat should I nid to do so..
It's juz trying to hurt myself more..
I dun think it's gonna happened next time..
meet her.. juz chat wif her.. tats so easy...
tml..
i'm going to her birthday celebration party wif her friend..
she invited me..
although i'm busy.. I gonna go for working.. and hav a another party nite..
bt it doesn't mean tat I nid to avoid her by absenting for her party..
I will go for it.. absolutely going..
juz pretend it as normal..
I'll..

It's the answer..

Finally..
the day tat i waited since long long time ago..
It's 30th of July..
I invited her for a dinner.. juz decided wan to celebrate her birthday..
I planned everything..
juz wan to gv a surprise.. and show wat is my feeling to her..
dinner.. roses.. present.. cake..
it's such a perfect plan..
yet... i still nt manage to get her in the end..
I failed it.. my mood totally gone down 100%.. really down to the end..
juz imagined, wat's ur feeling when u'r rejected
actually.. i already expected this may happen on me..
bt i juz try to boost my own confident..
i juz wan to speak out wat i wan to say to her...
mayb i'm trying to cheat myself.. juz wan to gv myself a single tiny chance..
bt.. mayb i'm nt gud enough.. nt perfect..
btw.. i'm still statisfied..
i didn't fed up wat i did..
she's nice, perfect for me..
she showed me a sign..
she said tat she had a wonderful and meaningful birthday this year..
she blessed me..
I dunno whether she's giving me a clue or wat..
I really cant catch it..
She's nt simple. tats y i like her..
I still nid to put more effort on everything tat i nid to do..
Mayb it's juz a beginning..
I wont gv up easily..
bt nt nw..
I juz decided.. It's the time for me to concentrate my study..
mayb I will tried it again after finished F6..
I hoped tat.. luck and destiny will b on my side..
Time will show me tat..
It will...

Form 6 (1)

zzz..
oh my god sake..
Form 6 life.. it's tough..
mountain of homeworks, assignments...
sumtime nid to go to library and search any resources about our studies..
And even nid to stay bak..
juz nid to present our works..
haizzz.. sumtime.. wan to take a break during the weekdays oso cant..
wat kind of life is this..
duhhhh....
btw.. i had chosen this road as my future...
i shouldn't blame too much on tat..
blaming form6 = blaming myself..
who is the one who ask for it??
it's me..

The day is approaching

Juz few more days to go..
I dunno whether i will success or nt..
I went to buy a present for her..
wat i wan to do..
juz wan to gv her a surprise..
bt.. my confident could be boosted recently..
i juz knew sumthing..
there's a rival.. is loving her at the same time wif me..
he's nt bad.. i dunno whether she likes him or nt..
I'm worried.. tat whether i could success or nt..
actually I wan her to b wif me..
I dun wan to lose her..
It's totally causing me felt quite frustrated adi..
Btw, my spiritual will nt give up easily..
I will nt let him to affect me easily..
I wan to prove tat..
I'm nt the person tat give up easily..
wat i noe.. I'm willing to sacrifice lots for her..
I wan to prove tat i had the faith..
Hope tat my faith will totally cre8 a successful way for me..
I believe tat it will happened soon..
It may.. It will...

I'm keen to wait for it

The day is juz around the conner..
Time is passing slowly... Tik tak tik takk..
plenty of seconds, a lot of minutes, uncountable hours juz passed..
sumtime.. i'm keep looking at my watch..
y the day tat i wan could nt approach earlier..
I cant wait for the day..
I wan to tell her everything..
my feeling.. my thinking.. my action etc..
for the moment..
i could said tat.. u'r quite important to me....

Sumthing is keep flowing in my mind..

I'm wondering..
hw's special is her...
she's totally cuz me mad on her adi..
studying.. gaming.. eating.. and eventhough dreaming..
i keep non-stop thinking on her..
at school..
i even spent every single minute of my chances..
try to look where's she..
wat is she doing.. where's is she going.. hw's she..
every single action.. i'm just tending on her only..
as wat can i said..
I already fell into the love river adi..
I deep in love in her adi..

F6 life is pressure..

Totally cant imagined at all..
hw cum F6 is totally diff F5..
as i noe.. wat i learn is totally diff..
i cant imagined wat am i learning at all..
eventhought my favourite subject - Mathematics..
IT'S TOUGH!!!!
nt exactly like laz time..
haizzz..
Btw, I cant even slept well recently..
cant sleep well eventhought i felt totally EXHAUSTED AND LETHARGIC!!!
non-stop awoke early in the morning..
Is tat a sign of Insomnia??
i dun really hope tat it'll happened on me..
haizzz..
anyway.. juz stand it for another 1 and a half year..
i think it should b alright for me..